I'm not talking about a sporting event.
I'm not talking about money.
I'm not talking about your car keys, or wallet, or phone.
I'm talking about a friend.
When you lose a friend it's hard, but when you and your best friend fall apart and don't speak for over three years, that's something that's really hard to swallow.
Taylor, was one of my best friends while I was at Disney World. We lived right next door to each other, we worked together and if that wasn't enough he basically became my big brother, oh yeah... and I had a minor crush on him for about a month.
Now, my roommates might say otherwise and that I crushed on him for like the 8 months I was there but that is wrong because here is the evidence to prove it:
January 28, 2008: I had my first meet-and-greet with Disney people and my CP (college program) began
January 29, 2008: We, my roommates and I, decided to have a looksy and investigate who our neighbors were. This is when I initially met Taylor and started to crush.
February 28, 2008: My 20th birthday... The ABSOLUTE WORST birthday I've ever had. I won't go into details but this is basically when my hatred for another cast member started and my crush became more of a heartbreak than anything else.
So there you have it. One month, almost to the day...
Anyways, that's not what I was getting at.
I was on Facebook this evening and noticed an update from Taylor and that said he had changed his profile picture. Being nosy, I looked. Well, he now has a girlfriend and seems really happy.
I am beyond happy that he has found someone and so excited for whatever he has planned in his life, I just wish I was still part of it.
Even a text, once every blue moon, would make me feel as if my friendship meant something and I didn't waste my time or my heart on some one who was just going to throw me away.
I have tried to keep in contact, but he seems to want no part in my life. Which is fine, I just wish there were verbal actions rather than ignoring messages.
Taylor, was seriously one of the best friends I have ever had and I am so mad that I let our friendship dwindle into nothing. I really wish I had gone to his brothers wedding and to Taylor's graduation. I really wish I had tried harder.
Before Taylor left on May 16, 2008 (yes, I still remember the last time I saw him) I wrote him a five page note, front and back, telling him everything I felt in my heart and everything I've ever felt for him. Some of it might have been on the romantic side but most of it was to thank him for being there whenever I needed him and always having my back even if that meant standing up for something he didn't believe in.
I don't expect him to read this, and I really don't expect much, but I just had to put these thoughts some where and why not here.
But Taylor, if you do read this please know that I will always love you. You were like my big brother at Disney and always looked after me. You shaped me and my ability to handle certain situations and never once gave up on me. Yes, we had our moments were we stopped talking to each other but we always seemed to forget about 3 days later and go back to being crazy old us. I miss FUPA hunting, I miss the random trips to the shopping outlet, Walmart, the parks. I miss your laugh and how funny it was to see you drunk. You really made a lasting impression on me and I really hope you are happy. I want you to know that I never once gave up on our friendship, but I may have let it go a little to long without a hello of some sort. You were one of the best friends I've ever had and I could not be more thankful for you. I hope to one day reconnect, but if not I am honored to have gotten to be you BFF for those 3 months, that ended up feeling like a lifetime.
