Not sure if I entirely believe this, just because of my current situation with the guy I love. I don't think we fell apart so we could fall in love with someone else, I think we fell apart so we could fall back together but where it's better than before.
This weekend was a little tougher than I expected. I wanted him to be there to help me paint or hang up photos or give his input as to where to put things. I just wanted him to be a part of this next step in my life. I still very much love him and am hanging on with every ounce of hope I have left. If he wasn't important I don't think I would have held on for this long; as a matter of fact I know I wouldn't have. If he didn't mean the world to me, I would just move on and fall for someone else.
But that's exactly it... I don't want to fall for anyone else. Truth is, if I could be with anyone in the world, I would still want to be with him. Even with my love for Miles Austin, I just love Rodney more and want to be with him. I just hope he is still hanging on to me.
I know Rodney isn't the type of guy to tell someone, anyone for that matter, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with them if he didn't truly mean it. Or that he loves me more than any non-related person he has ever met or that I am the person for him in everyway... if he didn't truly mean every single one of those words.
I still have hope. I still have a lot of hope, just some days are harder than other, but as Eli Young Band says:
You gotta fail a thousand times
before you see it through.
You gotta spend your last dime
before you ever make a million.
You gotta know what brought you here
and you gotta lose to persevere.
But it’s the way the sun will rise
through the darkest night.
yeah it’s always been worth the fight.
before you see it through.
You gotta spend your last dime
before you ever make a million.
You gotta know what brought you here
and you gotta lose to persevere.
But it’s the way the sun will rise
through the darkest night.
yeah it’s always been worth the fight.
I listened to "Love Don't Run" for the first time since we've been on this break and it brought back so many memories and a tear rolled down my cheek because that song still has so much meaning to me...
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