I Close My Eyes

Sometimes I think it's better to just get everything off your chest before it builds up and makes you crazy and you have to let it out.
But then, I tend to not think about what I am saying and say too much and end up getting hurt in the end or end up biting my tongue afterward.
I won't go into detail but basically I was really frustrated and ended up taking it out on the wrong person.
I think everything will be okay, I've just got to learn.
Somehow he hasn't run away like most guys would have by now.
For some reason he wants to stick by me and deal with all my emotional crap.
I don't know why he wants to stick around it's not like I'm all that worth it, but maybe there really is something here.
I am not going to get mad or upset that he's still here because I could not imagine anyone else by my side or walking me through these steps.
I hope he knows that he means more than words to me.
The thought of losing him scares me.
I know there are girls out there who are prettier or smarter or whatever, but I am so lucky and blessed for him to want to be with me and want to stick by me :)
He really makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.
He makes me feel desirable.
Makes me feel as if I am the only one in a room full of people.
I have wanted to tell him something for a while now but I know that it's not the right time.
He hasn't given up on me yet so hopefully he will always be there for me.
I guess I just have to have faith and know that he could have left at least 20 times by now and he is still by my side helping me out and showing me that he cares.
Never give up.
I know this might seem like it's really random but hey, that's kind of how I am nowadays lol

Off to bed with a smile on my face :)