Where Now?

Where did I go wrong this time?

Why is it that I feel like we have hit a road block...

All I want is for things to be better.

Back to the way they were.

I don't know when things changed.

I don't know why they changed.

I don't even know what caused them to change.

All I wish is that they would just return back to normal.

With everything that I have been through.

And all the heart ache I've suffered.

It's hard to think that someone like you could have ever entered my life.

It's amazing to me that you even exist.

I've kissed three guys in my entire life.

Your kiss was the first time a kiss ever meant anything.

Your kiss was the first time I ever felt anything.

Your kiss still lingers in my head.
I never knew what a kiss could mean until you kissed me.

I've never wanted to kiss anyone more than I want to kiss you again.

I've never wanted to hold someone's hand more than I want to hold your hand.

Guys like you are rare.

I hit some sort of stroke of luck finding you.

I don't know what I did in my life to deserve you even to glance my way.

But I'm glad you did and I just hope you are still glancing.

Sometimes I get a little uncertain of myself and I start to question things.

I've already questioned you.

I've already questioned why you would ever be interested.

I've questioned the kiss.

I've questioned almost everything up to this point.

And you know what...

I am sorry.

When something good in my life comes around it's hard for me to understand why I deserve it.

It's not you.

It's not anything.

It's just the way I am.

My past is full of hurt and pain.

Heart aches and tears.

But even though it is in my past I still carry a sense of doubt on my shoulders.

If something changed between us let's fix it.

Let's fix whatever it is.

I just don't want the one good thing in my life to go away.

And when I look in your eyes I know you're good.

When I walk in the room you look up and smile at me and my world lights up.

You are going to have to understand that there might always be a sense of doubt.

But I would never doubt you.

I would only ever doubt myself.

Whatever went wrong, please, let's just fix it.

And you know what there might not be anything wrong and I am, yet again, creating a situation in my head that doesn't even exist.

But if there is something going on or I did something wrong I just want to fix it.



I am sorry for any doubt that I ever created in my head.