Worried for nothing

"The hardest thing ever is taking chances. 

Because you can only take so much pain. 

And you can only get hurt so many times,

before you create a bubble around yourself to avoid any more scars. 

And then you end up never really living at all. 

So we deal with pain. 

We take chances and we take risks, 

because either way we’re going to lose, and it’s going to hurt."    

Okay I know I said I was ready to love again.
But I don't think I have ever "loved" in the first place.
Yes, there have been guys with whom I thought I was "in love" with, but taking my relationship now and comparing it to the ones I thought I had...
They don't really compare to what I have now.
They don't even come close, to how I am feeling.
I can say it over and over a million times, that Rodney is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I don't know how I got so lucky.
And at the end of the day when I go to bed with a smile on my face, I know who put it there.
I have no doubt in my mind that the first thing I will think of before I go to bed will be one his kisses.
L.O.V.E
is more than a four-letter word.
L.O.V.E
is more than a diamond ring.
L.O.V.E
is more than roses or any type of flower
L.O.V.E
is more than all the words in the dictionary.
Yes, there are tons of ways to say, "I love you."
You can say it with a card.
You can say it with a ring, with roses or flowers, you can say it by writing it in the sky.
But why not just say it.
Look them in the eyes and just say it.
When you say it, make sure it's the right time.
And when you say it... mean it.
L.O.V.E is not a word that should be thrown around.
L.O.V.E should be between two people who want nothing more in the world but each other.
Yes, I have been hurt.
Beaten (not physically)
And broken.
But without all of this pain and hurt, I would not be where I am today falling for the one guy who I never saw coming.
I want nothing more than to be with him right now.
Yeah, I get it.
Live is painful and hard at any age.
We have to learn to deal with our mistakes and learn from out past.
And maybe I am stupid for worrying about him going off for a week and not being able to see him or contact him.
But when you have this horrible memory that comes up every time someone mention the words Spring Break, it's hard not to think of the negative.
I trust him with every thing that I am and every inch of my heart.
And I will be waiting for him when he gets back with a hug and kiss the size of Alaska.
But that doesn't mean I can't still worry.
Maybe not about the girls down there but if something happened to him, I would have no way of knowing.
I think that's what scares me the most.
Right now, Rodney means a whole heck-of-a-lot to me and I think I am just afraid of losing him.
I don't even know if that's what is pulling on my emotions right now.
I think I just have a ton of unanswered questions and emotions that need to settle down.


L.O.V.E
can be painful
L.O.V.E
can be blissful
L.O.V.E
can take you to new heights
But only if you let it.
Time for me to let my heart take flight.
And let love take me to where I have never been before :)

 "Life is about change. Sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s beautiful, but most of the time it’s both."